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* Jim Healy, You've Got A Weak Show *

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The Search For "Okay":

An Archive Investigation

Along with the 'ticker tape,' the smarmy laugh, and perhaps "Say What?",

"...Okay..." must be Healy's most familiar clip. But where is it from?

The Archive Investigates

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The Search For "Okay":

An Archive Investigation

Along with the 'ticker tape,' the smarmy laugh, and perhaps "Say What?",

"...Okay..." must be Healy's most familiar clip. But where is it from?

The Archive Investigates

(D Ec33$(

The Answer

The bit and the comedy team, as listed on the inflight magazine:

"Ajax Liquor Store," by 'Hudson and Landry'

A drunk is ordering booze over the phone from the local Ajax Liquor Store. His order grows longer and longer as his behavior gets odder and odder. Twice during the bit, the Liquor store clerk tells the drunk that he does or doesn't have a certain order.

And the drunk responds: "...Okay..."

The "...Okay..." was just a quick line within the bit, which lead to a final laugh line when the clerk asks the drunk if he is having a party.

"No," says the drunk. "I'm getting up the courage to go to confession." Do you think that's funny?

)E̲Y5@()?5[ "F6766F![ Gw p43=(

The Search For "Okay":

An Archive Investigation

Along with the 'ticker tape,' the smarmy laugh, and perhaps "Say What?",

"...Okay..." must be Healy's most familiar clip. But where is it from?

The Archive Investigates

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-The discovery is totally irrelevent on it's own terms. Since US Air has already switched its inflight program

for July, no one can duplicate the discovery, either for confirmation or simple access. So this discovery is useless.

-From an archivial or strictly scholarly point of view, this discovery is confoundingly, maddeningly,

disqualifyingly random. No discipline, study or method went into this find, and therefore no lessons can be

drawn from the result. It is worse than the failure of action; it is the reward of laziness. It is the proverbial bolt

from the blue, exactly the kind that can never be anticipated, premeditated, predicted or - most tragically - pre-

arranged. Providence and the Angels of Fortune alone smiled upon the Archive, stripping us of "how" and leaving

us only with the imponderable "why?"

-And statistically, this one is clear off the charts of reasonable probability. To find this "...Okay...", the

Archive had to overhear:

One word in a five minute 'bit'...

...among 15 other bits on the channel...

...among 12 channels...

...which play on just one model airplane (767s)...

...in one airline's fleet (US Air)...

...for just one month (June)...

...with no mitigating or positive factors (never heard of Hudson and Landry which could have garnered

attention, no historical interest in liqour humor, etc)...

+IŶ25NJpHbL $9fiG~T%~TGG027vTY|XW2vTY|X2%XWGG%xX%~T02d]Y~T2>`9zJY%O~T2X~T6G2%6G2vTY5,Jּ^8WP@()+?8!["K9:99KVpFL]M̙-i\$ GexVP N 9ܪ@)`+r"MLLLL!M}-NLLLL#NL} Ow p43=(

The Search For "Okay":

An Archive Investigation

Along with the 'ticker tape,' the smarmy laugh, and perhaps "Say What?",

"...Okay..." must be Healy's most familiar clip. But where is it from?

The Archive Investigates

(O Pc3$(

Listeners Join The Search

Armed with this new information, the Archive enlisted it's crack mailing list correspondents, Team Healy. An update was issued, a plea for help sent out.

Within 12 hours, no less than 15 Healy fans had written with responses.

)P̲Y5LGQx=  $f>d]Y~T2WG62zJWX9~TY~TYG%O~T2P%~Tw2zJvT~T229W2``WxXxXP2bYzJYvT:'02wYW2w9W6~T09r Ll~TP2V{vT560DsB`WYX7vT6G2WY23%XY:%YX2WY62wY~T9~T26Y~T2@ZqR^>Zn\@2zJvT~T229W02N< "O~T2PYWwY2%621W:2O~TvT:G02LlY|XGWY2vTY|X2TPvTY|X:P2=2@_WxX2LlY|XGWY2=vT%GW2-xPYWwY2vTG2@FZX~T9W:2LlY|XGWY@2vTY|X2``WY2TPvTY|X:P=02w~T9~T26Y~T2%vT6~T2W:Y%YX=vT3602=WW:"W=2DkPC "G2vT62R^Jk@^bY2Y~T9~T2%Y2TP0>`02|XY:%YX26Y~T2~TvT:%P2A*WW "G02vTY|X2N<2xX~T%%~TO~T26Y~T%:2GYWw2vvTG2YvT6%WYvT%%P2GPY|X%zJvT6~T|X2vTG2w~T%%0ud]Y~T%:2vTzJ62vvTG2Y%%vT:%WYG02N<2PYWw26Y~TP "O~T2XW62vT62%~TvTG626Y9~T~T2vT%xXYG26YvT62zJvT~T2WY602=xX~TzJvTYG~T2N< "O~T2XW62 "~T=02@LlvTYX%YX2N;Y2yd]Y~T9~T@02@TPWG%YX2d]Y~T%:2Ll~TvT|XG@2vTY|X2@`c%XY62Zq2:@022d]Y~TP2w~T9~T29~T%~TvTG~T|X2WY26Y~T2DmW9~T2``~TzJW9|XG2%vTxX~T%02d]Y~T2@>`-vTO2TP%XYW:2bY6W9~T@2vvTG2 xWY26Y~T23%:G62vT%xXY2vTY|X2vvTG2WY~T2W326Y~T%:2WG62XWXY%vT:267vTzJPG02@_W6Y2vT%xXYG2w~T9~T29~TzJW9|X~T|X2%%O~T2vT62d]Y~T2\TWWYvT2XkvT6%WYvT%2JkW%32 vvTY|X2B`WYY6:P2B`%YxW02d]Y~T2G~TzJWY|X2vT%xXY2zJWY6vT%Y~T|X2zJ%vTGG%zJ267vTzJPG2GYzJY2vTG02@>`-vTO2>`%:%%Y~TG@02@d]Y~T2\X9WGX~TzJ6W:G@2 l2@@_:Y%G~T:2TPvT2 `bY~T@02Ll~TvT%P2PY~Tw2vT2XWW|X26Y%YX5^ {j~T%%026YvT6 "G2vTxXWY62vT%%2N<2PYWw2WY26Y~TG~T2XYPG02>`Y|X2G%YzJ~T2N<2|X%|XY "62zJW~T2Y~T9~T26W2vTzJ62WYO~TPG21W:2~TO~T:PxXW|XB000000w~T%%02%~T6 "G2XW50 ``WxXxXP2bYzJYvT:3+QšVЫ8`@GR`%  X$`%]Ŋj JRaSQ>TRqg,R]9KShf`ŀ$b8 6;TuA=5SQ:TRqg-S=kThdb2 $3HS9W092:GzJYvT:3<%|X60Y~T6V{%~T:hX~T:G%WY092W0Wr$DmvT6~T092bYvT602&W2PCY%2W.W.W*W2W$W09"W*W09 W&W2:W*WWW[!dMW092jY%6~T24t56wY%6~TThe Search For "Okay":

An Archive Investigation

Along with the 'ticker tape,' the smarmy laugh, and perhaps "Say What?",

"...Okay..." must be Healy's most familiar clip. But where is it from?

The Archive Investigates

(W Xc3$(

Listeners Join The Search

Armed with this new information, the Archive enlisted it's crack mailing list correspondents, Team Healy. An update was issued, a plea for help sent out.

Within 12 hours, no less than 15 Healy fans had written with responses.

)X̲Y5LZYxD8 Ԁ $fv\T~T:YvTXG26Y~T2WG62%Y6~T9~TG6%YX2YW6~T2zJvT~T229W2%WYX:6%~T2>`9zJY%O~T21vTY2bY6~TO~T2LlvT:O~TP2W326Y~T2jW:%|X2B`YvTX%WY2TP0>`02d]%~TG02``~TvT|X2'WY02vTY|X2OWY "%%2PYWw2%62wY~TY2OWY2G~T~T2%60+YIZhda $3*DmvT6~T092bYvT602&W2PCY%2W.W.W*W2W.W09"W W09 W W2:W*WWW2=\XDid_=HS9W092bY6~TO~T2LlvT:O~TPr!dMW092jY%6~T24t56wY%6~T`9zJY%O~T "G2%Y6%vT%2~TvT%%2%Y2%~TGG26YvTY2&W2[)%YY6~TG026Y~T2vTY6W:zJY~TzJP2%Y6~T:MvT%21W:26Y~T2D&>`9zJY%O~T "G2~TvT%%2GW36vvT9~T02LlvT:O~TP2~TO~TY2-&xX~TvT62GW~T2W326Y~T2vTY6W:9~T-~TzJ62~TGGvTX~TG2%6YvT62%XMvT:%vTxX%P2vT9~T29~T6Y:Y~T|X26W2dM~TvT2'Ll~TvT%P2vT%%%YXG2wY~T9~T2MvT:%WYG2TP%G6~TY~T:G2YvSO~T2zJvTYzJ~T%%~T|X2W%|X2vTzJzJWYY6G=0/[h8Ե7\p YLG $LV{vT56:::HSYYXP2YW6~T2WY2tWPvSB0@2LlY|XGWY2vTY|X2TPvTY|X:P2w~T9~T2vT27vT|X%W26~TvT2WY2vT2%WzJvT%2UG6vT6%WY2=%Y26Y~T2W.W*WWG02N<2xX~T%%~TO~T2%62vvTG=02bYW26YvT62wWY%|X2xX~T2:%XY626%~T27vT~T21W:2Ll~TvT%P-rX7vTxXxX%YX26YvT62xX%Y:xW0DNLlY|XGWY "G2zJvT9~T~T:2zJvT~T26W2vTY2~TY|X02xXP26Y~T2vvSB02vT36~T:26Y~T2B`YvT%%~TYX~T:2xX%~Tw2YX2wY~TY2-?Y~T2XY%XX~T|X26YvT626Y~T2vTG69WYvTY6G2YG62YvSO~T2xX~T~TY229~T~T:xXvTG%YX2dKvTYX0@_~TG602bY6~TO~T2LlvT:O~TP)d]Y~T2TM>`2d]%~TG02bY6vT%P%YX2dN:Y6Y26W2%6G2TPvT%:50\t9DTπ ]ws83=(

Stay tuned!

And fans should remember that each time Healy would say "Stay tuned," he would play: "...Okay..."

1]cӖ@@()*+,-./01@@ !#%&'?J  ^  ^ H_\i~-vy /3 = <73\t[LӀ(\2`2#̎` "3DbW&5N7. ^,5Iy߽bnS盋5kݝK޻(x\q`}P5eyrm#![nht5jb20c/ە-e"o]ۀ 5tV̩71J/tܝ`m6ҎfGxkkϴ` ^.G6jݤ{m5$Z!rND|"95kg :HHmNj) ^Ii2=z$Ok\3h*GhkF WVXva=yܖ\N<5hZʬZrm Vo~&/,>nEAJP@5iuirRLv5g|wa.;~5k0ynDc+[|5jn{w ܨ)\H~f㰟DZ&ʕ,%WqYjbj(V7b ߤov0/]b]ߒEdEr)5+5jz-zP2NԂ"{~[:nֿf4HC\j =O .ƽtr8:)#jJFO,r8@Y=-5gF(}$Ϡʏ1s5h?`~MG ۊ;[i%gO 5kVf6g-"մRQ7pr]_$ܨ?q_[[aV؀Xl5j:((B|B'iC>sFS!")q]k]0V=*˨REA/:i"D5fu޷*}{ (\"7i:?nͶ JojME9Y/vCl!WJ5l2cQVST)-2MZǗ7Y$XqQmHrI'!wvDN[`Tahoma -.<>abcdeiknotu4a`X `! dM1ᛈT07PHEDHb\i~-i3}4<( , #t$̀3#܀N`N\ss8Hc\i~f-i3}4<( , #t$̀3#܀N`N\ss8Hd\i~3-i3}4<( , #t$̀3#܀N`N\ss8PeG_aX|baX|caX|daX|ep fp=` f Q&\g@:xH`A8qU5hx8qF 5xp(PA'!•<8kᮂo\8kfQ&Xд5PxS!!kl5P Qr. M ѮrVxS M I \gHarkening for Healy's Opinion of Lasorda's Performance

By STEVE HARVEY, Times Staff Writer

When Tom Lasorda retired as Dodger manager, we heard more than one person say, "Too bad

Healy isn't around."

It was only a few days after the second anniversary of radio broadcaster Jim Healy's death.

Voice-tracks of Lasorda (along with Charles Barkley, Howard Cosell and others) were a big

part of Healy's long-time show. But, in a sense, Healy is still here. Not only are his taped blurbs

imprinted permanently on the minds of his fans, but the sounds can now be heard on the

Internet web site of one former listener.

We can just imagine how Healy would have covered Lasorda's departure:

Healy: "Dateline, Chavez Ravine. So Tommy Lasorda is retiring as Dodger manager after 20 years, four pennants and two World Series titles. . . ."

Vin Scully: "I can't believe it."

Healy: "No, really, he's retiring."

Voice: "Oh, that's a bunch of bull."

Healy: "Look, I know it's hard to believe. And we're going to miss him, especially his postgame comments. No one could analyze an opposing batter's performance better than Tommy."

Lasorda: "What's my opinion of Kingman's performance? What the [bleep] do you think is my opinion of it? It think it was [bleeping] [bleep-bleep]."

Healy: "Didn't mean to rile you up, Tommy. We definitely will not ask you about your decision to pitch to Jack Clark in the playoffs."

Johnny Carson: "I thought it was [bleeping] brilliant."

Anonymous voice: "Say what?"

!g:5*@!?Fh\`${-wv53-`O]]Mww<|O]"v0*,@*i` ` 4D$V2ʖ`! dFj\`${-h74,h S1"̌ЃS1"Lv=0wsFk\`${3-h74,h S1"̌ЃS1"Lv=0wsFl\`${-h74,h S1"̌ЃS1"Lv=0wsPmGhi@ji@ki@li@m#  *nj3$(

Healy: "Brilliant? Clark hit a 900-foot home run to end the Dodgers' 1985 season. What was the name of that Dodger pitcher anyway? Was it Niedenfuer?"

Dick Williams: "Niedenfuer, my [bleep]."

Bob Costas: "Look, it's a wacky business. Who cares?"

Healy: "Well, when the Dodgers lose, the fans care."

Benoit Benjamin: "I don't give a [bleep] about the fans."

Healy: "We know, Benoit. We know. Let's get back to Lasorda, shall we? Tommy isn't just an expert on baseball, but on other sports too. Rowing for example."

Lasorda: "Bevacqua couldn't hit water if he fell out of a [bleeping] boat."

Healy: "In fact, with his knowledge of sports and gift of gab, I've always thought Tommy would have made a great broadcaster."

Cosell: "It's only radio, it's so simple."

Healy: "You don't have to put it that way, How-wahd. Actually, Tommy isn't leaving baseball anyhow. He's a vice president. And if the Dodgers are smart, they'll have him look over some of their minor league affiliates. San Antonio, for instance."

Ed Bieler: "And, of course, San Antonio has the river, the San . . .what's the name of the river that goes through . . . the San Antonio River goes through the heart of downtown Los Angeles."

Nixon imitator: "That's just plain poppycock."

Healy: "You tell him, Mr. President. What I'm saying is the Dodgers are going to need some late-season help for the final weeks of the pennant race."

Jim Harrick: "It's gonna be another ball-burner."

!n:5*@!? op3$(

Healy: "Well, new Manager Bill Russell is going to get burned if the Dodgers don't put together a big winning streak. It's obvious that the rest of the season is a test for him."

Tim Conway: "Get to the point, would you, Jim?"

Healy: "Well, either he delivers or the Dodgers make someone else manager next season."

Costas: "Goldberg would love to do it."

Johnny Grant: "Ah, blow it out."

Healy: "You tell him, Johnny. There are plenty of qualified candidates out there."

Mike McGee: "Jim Raveling. George Raveling."

Healy: "Raveling was a basketball coach."

Unidentified voice: "You got a problem with that?"

Healy: "No, except we're talking about baseball."

Bob Knight: "I've forgotten more about this [bleeping] game than all you people combined are ever going to know."

Healy: "Can we please get back to baseball?"

Unidentified voice: "Yeah, I did."

Healy: "No, I am, you twit. One thing I wonder about Bill Russell is whether he can inspire the Dodgers. Do they need someone with more emotion?"

Dick Vermeil, sobbing : "I love those guys."

Healy: "Not that much emotion, Dick. On the other hand, if the Dodgers should catch fire and win the World Series, then Peter O'Malley and Fred Claire would have to rehire Russell."

Myron Cope: "Yoy and double yoy."

!o:5*@!? p3$(

Lawrence Welk impersonator: "A wunnerful, a wunnerful."

Healy: "But let's not jump the gun. I'm not sure a division title is a possibility for this team."

Charles Barkley: "Bad team, man. Bad [bleeping] team."

Healy: "Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Charles. I mean, how can any team with Mike Piazza,

Hideo Nomo and Raul Mondesi be bad?"

Barkley: "Bad team, man. Bad [bleeping] team."

Healy: "Do you mind if I continue, Charles? What's your problem, anyway? Are you still in a bad mood over your free-agent situation? What I'm saying is, I just don't understand why they don't have a better record."

Cosell: "Who goofed? I've got to know."

Lasorda: "This job is not that [bleeping] easy!"

Healy: "It's enough to make a manager go the Leonard Tose route."

Ed Garvey: "Leonard Tose has lost it."

Healy: "Sometimes you wonder if the Dodgers always come to play."

Jerome Brown: "We didn't come here to act monkeys for everybody."

Healy: "On the other hand. . . ."

Chick Hearn: "We've got to get off the air."

!p:5*@!? q Ȁ3$(

Healy: "Did you hear that folks? The dreaded 6 o'clock tone is coming up. Let's stop a second and enjoy that magnificent sound."

Sound of tone.

Healy: "OK, as I was saying, maybe the Dodgers have been overrated. Maybe their

personnel isn't as good as some other teams."

Jimmy Johnson: "How about them Cowboys!"

Healy: "Now we're talking about football? I was referring to the Atlanta Braves. You know

what state they're from, right?"

Sound of Willie Nelson singing: "Georgia, Georgia. . . ."

Healy: "Very good. Even a USC Brain Surgeon could get that question right on a test. Especially if he had someone else taking the test for him."

Cosell imitator: "Jim Healy, that's your lowest shot ever."

Healy: "Coming from you, How-wahd, that's a compliment. Jim Healy. Good night."

Copyright Los Angeles Times

!q:5*@  !?  r  rfsp=` f Q&\g@:xH`A8qU5hx8qF 5xp(PA'!•<8kᮂo\8kQ&Xд5PxS!!kl5Pf Qr. M ѮrVxS M I \gThe Star Spangled Banner

The surest way to get air time on Healy's show was to attempt to sing the

national anthem before a sporting event and screw up.

This effort - for my money the ugliest butcher of our Nation's Song ever - was

delivered by one Robert Bob Forrest, whom Healy described as "a disheveled,

unkempt, beatnick-type." Forrest was the lead singer for a band named

Theolonius Monster, and he, along with a harmonica accompaniest (described

by Healy as "an unmade bed") delivered this travesty proir to a Clippers game. When he finishes, under a shower of boos, Forrest mumbles, "...sorry..."

But the Healy's favorite was always The First Lady of Song, Rosanne Barr. Here is another clip of her famous rendering of our nation's anthem at a Padres game.

There was more, but you get the point.

!tց*@ !@@@@  ? f u  u.vp=` f Q&\g@:xH`A8qU5hx8qF 5xp(PA'!•<8kᮂo\8kQ&Xд5PxS!!kl5P Qr.f M ѮrVxS M I \gTirades

a.k.a. The We Remember Tommy Section

- Maybe the most significant clip in Healy history is the swearing

tour-de-force from Padre manager Dick Williams after the Dodger's

beaned light-hitting Joe Lefebvre.

This tirade gave us "you talk about "chickens***" and

"Niedenfuer my a**," the Dodger's offending pitcher.

As good as that clip is, consider what it lead to: When next the Dodgers

met the Padres, the memory of that beaning led Padre Kurt Bevaqua to accuse Lasorda of

ordering the beaning, which gave the world Healy's #1 most popular (and the Archive's most

requested) clip, the Infamous Bevaqua Tapes.

-And, in the Archive's opinion, when you mention The Bevaqua Tapes, you must also mention.....

The Garvey Tapes.

-Here, for the first time, is a short and long dissertation by Lasorda on his team's inability to hit a bad pitcher, with particularly emphasis on Steve Garvey. (Thanks to Randy G for submitting this clip!)

-Finally from Lasorda, a small, but lovely effort:

The context is worth telling. Lasorda was being interviewed about a charity event he

was involved with, and was saying things like "its so nice to help out and give back to the

community...." etc, as several players horsed around in the background.

Mid cliche, he spun and let this beauty fly.

-Even I can't believe this effort from a rightly enraged Roger Clemens.

Clemens refused a favor (autograph, appearance, something) to an old woman, whose

grandkid was dying of leukemia. When he died, a Boston writer accused Clemens of

hastening the kids death. This is Clemens ex-communicating the guy from the locker room.

(I need this clip. Please email me if you have it.)

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-Dr. Don Drysdale's full diagnosis of Pat Hayden.

- Terry Bradshaw, as you may know, sings gospel music, and his albums were

nominated for the Dove award - Gospel's version of the Emmy's or Oscars.

At least, that's what he tries to tell Bob Costas, but is doesn't come out that way.

- During one of several Michigan Rose Bowl losses,the Wolverine's play-by-play

man goes the Leonard Tose route, first stating that the San Gabriel Mountains are West of the Rose

Bowl, then flipping out completely during an off-air station break.

- At long last, we learn all about the meandering course of the San Antonio River from none other

than the Riverman.

- Silver Tip's Stu's classic flub of the Houston Astros.

- Al Michaels, the World Series, and the Earth's original version of Rock-n-Roll.

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- Charles Barkley's official clip of this website's regular visitors, Team Healy.

- Al Michael's version of How-odd's immortal question.

- Like his opinion of Kingman's performance, Lasorda never varies from his

conviction that baseball is fun right now.

- Cowabunga, Dude!

- For you horse racing fans, The Flag Is Up!

- It's a wacky business, Bob, but Goldberg'd love to do it.

- The Hawaiian sportscaster known only as Walter on the Island State's favorite team and its owner.

- You don't have to say "Mr. President," but I wish you'd stop callin' me Jimmah.

- Wow. What a nerd.

- He always be the Dorkster, but he thinks his time has finally come.

- Victor Kiam has a passion for pigskin.

- Get to the point, will ya Jim?

- The Mighty Ducks

- Jim Healy, you're a real schnuck.

- And Dick Vermiel still loves those guys.

- Burnt Hamburger aka Brent Musberger does his own bumper spot, which impressed Healy no end.

- Marge Schott tries to "apologize." You try to understand her.

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Listener William D. Aspinwall has donated the infamous Bevacqua tape to

the Archive. According to Healy's intro on Listener Aspinwall's tape, it all

began when Dodger's pitcher Tom Niedenfuer was fined $500 for hitting

a San Diego batter. Outfielder Kurt Bevacqua told the press:

"They ought to fine that fat little Italian, too. He ordered it."

So soon Lasorda was asked his opinion of Bevacqua's comment (never a good way to phrase a question to Lasorda - just ask Dave Kingman.)

He talked for about a minute, slowly denying any involvement, then or ever, with beaning anybody. But especially, Tommy says as he gets warmed up, somebody like....

(The rest is history)

"F***ing Bevacqua, who couldn't hit water if he fell out a f***ing boat."

(Below is 190K in WAV)

"And I guaran-f***ing-tee you this, when I pitched and I was gonna pitch

against a f***ing team that had guys on it like Bevacqua, I'd send a f***ing

limosine to get the c***s***er to make sure he was in the m*****f***ing

lineup because I'd kick that c***s***er's a** any f***ing day of the week.

He's a f***ing m*****f***ing bigmouth, I'll tell you that."

(Special Thanks to Randy G for submitting this clip!)

More Lasorda and Dodger stories can be found at:

http://www.dodgerblues.com/content/features_moments.html

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- Ben-wah Benjamin addresses his army of fans.

- Another thing Howard never got right.

- He disagrees with Howard.

- The infamous HOW-AWD KOE-SELL.

- Any car for $99.95?

- Fight On! Fight song of the Surgeons!

- Dateline, South Bend...

- Manute Bole meets The Riverman.

- The Local Cult Hero after a holding call.

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